Angel's Kiss

I long for you so many times

these feelings so strong,

sometimes I think I’m going crazy

you’re like a drug I wanna take

and it’s like I won’t be behavin

until I taste you…

I remember her telling me those words while she was showering me with kisses. I used to kiss her in the middle of her sentence whenever she would wrap her arms around me. And then in the middle and the end…and then we would just insanely kiss and not talk at all. I won’t forget what it felt like to be her sweet heaven. I won’t forget her lips and everything attached to them. I won’t forget her kisses…the way they drowned me in love…and the way they broke my heart.

She would be invisible if she didn’t fall in love with me. She was a Watcher, a type of fallen angel. She was rather an obedient one. Kin of the third sphere in the hierarchy of angels, she wouldn’t tell me why she’s fallen. Perhaps it was a sacred oath not to tell a human.

I never knew much about angels and their kind until she came along. Well at least until she became visible to me. I never had suspicions and it wasn’t like I wondered why she sparkles and always appears at twilight or if she had an invisibility cloak or something. OK, I was being funny there. She’s like a perfect human. Hazel brown eyes, copper hair, sun kissed skin, sexy physique - she’s so beautiful. No halo, no wings, no shadow. The latter I didn’t notice even from the countless of times I found her standing across the street looking at my window every morning. Blah, I couldn’t even explain to her how good it feels to look outside my window and see her standing there.

She was always everywhere close to me, watching me. Perhaps, a part of me was watching her, too. Her coming to my life wasn’t anything so mysterious. It was inevitable. It was more than mutual. I could see and touch her because she also wants me to. I could kiss and love her because there was no holding back to what we feel.

She told me how hard it was watching me without being able to say hi or see me smile back at her. How she wanted to hug me so much when I was crying all night. No one could see her except her fellow angels. She didn’t exist to me until that crack of dawn…

One time, just before the crack of dawn, I was launching some fireworks at my rooftop. That moment, I was alone. After the third one flickered up in the dark skies, there she was – hair flowing with the wind, wearing white halter dress, standing beside me. She had me mesmerized, even more when she spoke my name. “Fehl, this is amazing.” Her voice ripped the skin on my tummy releasing the butterflies.

She knew my name and I never asked why or how. It was as if I didn’t have to know. It was as if we knew each other for so long. Or probably, I’m not the type who always asks questions just to know the answers. Often I just left something to unfold itself. It’s exciting that way.

“Why have fireworks before sunrise?” she asked me.

“Someone once told me angels are believed to be worshiping God when the dawn is about to break before sunrise. So if you launched some fireworks before the crack of dawn, you’d catch the attention of angels. And if you’ve got a wish, it will come true.” I told her, sounding too serious.

“Well you caught my attention ever since…” she told me gazing up to the skies. Little did I know she was really an angel. Little did I know she came true even before I made a wish.

I smiled at her and I remember I wore that smile even in my sleep the next night.

. . . . . . . . . Little did I know she came true even before I made a wish . . . . . .

The next morning, I found her standing across the street in front of my room, waving and smiling at me. I would find her on some mornings like that and sometimes she would just appear beside me at my room anytime. One time, I asked her “what are you, a ghost?”

“I’m your guardian angel.” She told me, smiling, so heavenly like always.

Too witless to think, I just smiled and believed her. Being with her was always like that – everything doesn’t need an explanation. It seemed that everything was sorted out. We were so paralleled…just like the way the sky meets the earth. Like she was made for me and I was for her.

We became inseparable. She knew everything about me. She knew my wi-fi passcode, my crazy habits, my interests, my past, my friends and all. I couldn’t hide anything from an angel. She knew how to shut up, and when and where to appear. She knew when I need to be alone. She knew I was in love with her. She knew the places where to kiss me…how to turn me on…

“I love you, Angel.” She told me after we made love. Her voice was sweet. She didn’t call me my name. She called me an angel and it felt so damn good. And then she kissed me…so gentle and slow. Our bodies were rocking each other as our lips brushed in unison. And then I felt a tear from her eye. With that, she disappeared.

She was there, the moment I broke my heart…and even before that. She was there all along. Never too far, never too close either. She was always by my side. I won’t forget what it felt like to be her sweet heaven. I won’t forget her lips and everything attached to them. I won’t forget her kisses…the way they drowned me in love…and the way they broke my heart.

© Copyright 2011 by Fehl Dungo

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